One of my friends asked me, “What is more important, love or commitment?” Now, trying to explain this is very difficult and I may sound like a philosopher, but trust me that I will write what I feel.
Times have changed. In our parents’ days, people got married and entered a life-long commitment. Love followed, and couples used to spend their entire life together. But then what is important is that love followed. The same can hold true today also. But any commitment devoid of love always becomes monotonous. Look at our jobs for example. We are committed to our work, but there is no love for the company, or the project. Had we loved everything here, we would say, “Thank God it’s Monday!” and not, “Oh God, it’s Monday!” The idea is that if you keep giving way to the other person (your partner) just because you are committed to him/ her, a time will come when you will face an identity crisis. Trying to stand for what you strongly feel does not mean you have a big ego. In fact your partner should understand that you, as an individual, have a right to opinion. Am I deviating from the topic? I think so.
If you are in a relationship only because of commitment and no love, you would feel the same about going back home as you feel now about Monday mornings. And trust me; it would not be a good feeling. I feel it is easier for someone who has not been in a relationship to marry and fall in love (of course with his/her spouse). But for us, it will be very difficult. However wrong it is, the prospective partner would be graded on the scale of our experience, and comparisons are inevitable. But then, we must not forget that he/she would be a different individual.
Now, a situation of all love and no commitment also means you are in troubled waters. Actually, the concept itself is very debatable. If you love a person, you will be committed to him/ her automatically. How can one be in love and not be committed at the same time? If someone tells you that he loves you, and at the same time he cannot control his virility – trust me; he deserves a GPL.
Ideally, a relationship should be a commitment out of love and respect. But then, everyone should make his/ her own choice, because one man’s meat can be another’s poison.
-CK-
2 comments:
Only one line for Arnab:
Love is not the euphemism for sex, and commitment certainly does not come with age (Why in the world would people in their 40s and 50s have extra-marital affairs if that was true?).
I was just keeping myself aloof from all these but now its hard to be silent.
Love isn't something discovered and sealed in an instant; rather, it's something that develops, deepens, and strengthens through a couple's shared experiences. The more time you spend together, the more openness you share; the more conversations you have and events you experience as a couple, the deeper in love you'll fall.
I feel it is commitment that makes us fall in love.Commitment to daily and mundane shared experiences, domestic chores, the breakfast drill, casually holding hands in the park, advising each other about problems at work, coming to depend on each other, building a life together. Like the hooks and eyes of a woman's dress, it's the tiny, seemingly insignificant details of everyday life that serve to fasten a man and a woman together until they begin to feel inseparable.
Commitment means being devoted to doing things to nurture the relationship and protect it from harm and to fix it if damaged. Both partners care about each other's needs and must be willing to put each other's needs first--including being willing to make personal sacrifices for the good of the relationship. The partners should be willing to depend on each other and feel secure that each will be loyal to each other and to the relationship.
I really feel that love without commitment is a romance which will never last for a lifetime.Fortunately there is a better type of love than the romantic kind, one with the potential for lasting a lifetime. And dat is wen you have the sense of commitment along with love. If u truly love a person u would definitely be committed to him or her.
Lots of Luv
Shef.
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