Saturday, April 26, 2008

Tashan or "TENSION"

Heard only recently that even Big B has taken to blogging. So thought of starting to write movie reviews. I am no critic but will try to review it from the audience's perspective. I was hoping to start it with positive reviews, but as fate would have it, I had to endure over two hours of the latest Yash Raj offering. Well, I hope I receive positive reviews and comments for my comments at least.

I watched the movie on Thursday night here in the UK, something that we call a paid preview in India. And mistakes were glaring right from the first shot... If I start telling you, I'll divulge the story, but I'll try to keep it as interesting as possible for you. When (and if you are ready to take the risk even after reading this, that is) you watch the movie, watch out for the registration plate on the red car - the front and the rear plates - on the road and when it goes off-road.

Anil Kapoor is the don from Kanpur desperate to learn English, Saif is a call center professional and Anil's English teacher, Kareena is the 'femme fatale' who sets the ball rolling. Akshay is again a goon from Kanpur. The movie is a series of scenes, beautifully shot songs and lovely locales, but there is no movie... there is no connection between the scenes. As some biology student would say - lots of organs but no connective tissue. The road trip starts from Mumbai and takes Akshay and Saif to Haridwar via Ladakh... yes you read it right... LADAKH. If my knowledge of geography serves me correct, only a fool would take a trip from Mumbai to Haridwar via Ladakh, especially when someone's life depended on it. But I was not complaining... the locations were exotic and I had understood by then that the movie was going to be appealing only to the eye. I will not even mention other locations, except for the fact that the 'Chalia' son has been shot in Greece and Kareena is shown throwing Rs 1000 notes in the air... and the gunfight in Rajasthan...I want to swear even at the thought of it but will try to refrain from it. And wait for the climax when you really feel like banging your head against the chair in front.

The action sequences are good but would have been better in some other movie. The songs are nice and as said earlier shot at beautiful locations. Anil needs to be praised to have the courage to even be a part of such a disaster. Kareena's only contribution in this movie is the glamor and thanks to the extensive media coverage, she has made us all aware of the phrase 'size zero'. I will not even try to explain what that means. Those of you who do not know like me, please refer to Wikipedia. I strongly advise those who think they understand the meaning to also see the explanation. your understanding might not be completely correct. Saif... well, he had nothing to do in the movie. The best part of the movie was Akshay Kumar. He is just superb. The more I watch him, the more I admire him. But in this movie he is very eager to go topless which I don't remember him doing in any other movie. Otherwise, he is in fantastic form.

By the time movie ended, I was thinking of suing Yash Raj for the torture. I am sure you will also come out with only one question. Had it not been better to name it 'Tension'? In conclusion, I would sum it up as one of my friends did - a mega dose of bullshit; or as you'll hear in the movie - a double bullshit with a cherry (read Kareena) on top.

Rating: 2/5 (1 for Akshay and the other for locations - come on, there is no movie)

PS: Keep the comments - praises and brickbats alike - coming.

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